So I had a dream a while ago…

While rifling through a stack of papers the other day, I ran across a poem I’d forgotten I’d written.

A few years ago I awoke from a truly magical dream that I had to capture on paper. It spilled out through my fingers as a poem. The dream sparked a novella called “Beyond the Blue” that I’ve been working on as I have the time.

I hope to have this story completed and published in 2019. For now, the following poem is an expression of the sensuous, delicious dream that inspired a book. 

I hope you like the imagery. Thank you for reading.

Enjoy.

The Living and The Eternal

I stand on a sandy beach

Surrounded by revelers, strangers

Congregating on a magic shoreline

The haze of distant firelight

Covers me in misty madness

A man in Hawaiian shirt arrives

Blows smoke toward the waves

And greets me with a smile

Taking my by the elbow, he motions

Toward a rock behind me

A mountain of granite, a wall of stone

We walk on soft sand, our feet

Padding silent as the cosmic strain

Plays itself out across the expanse

And there he sits, mysterious and still

A being from beyond the veil

He waits for me behind the boulder

Sitting beside an eternal flame

The fire of life, the fire of heartbeat

Orange tongues lap the night air

Sparks flying high to touch the heaven

That sits just above my world

Glimmering planets chill the moon

His eyes capture me, in the deepest

Pools of ocean green, I dive

He carries starry visions

In an old fedora filled with

Wonder, of joyful glittery expanses

And brilliant cosmic landscapes

His arms wrap around the heaven

He inhabits, he smiles

Tipping his hat in my direction

He pours this universal garden

Into the crevices of my barren, little world

In a sky heavy with celestial fruit

Planets dangle soft above my head

Ripe for the picking, stars like glitter

Sparkling against black velvet

A purple horizon pushes up

Mountains line the frontier

Between earth and space, he looks up

Above my head, a planet spins, swirling

An orange mist envelops us

Shrouding us in a Saturnian glow

As the two fish meet the bull

Venus dipping into Neptune’s blue waters

Swirling hands in azure depths

Kissing Poseidon’s body, merging energies

Through the glance from one eye

To another, the fullness of love between

The living and the eternal

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Notes To Echo, Volume One: The Human Condition – Pain

Hi all. Echo here. I apologize for such a long delay in returning to this blog. Over the course of 2018, I have suffered crippling physical illness and several bouts of depression. As I moved through the pain and suffering, I gained quite a bit of insight into the inner workings of the internal world. Lots of “ins” there, but it’s true.

Everything is within.

I am going to start blogging once in a while on the things that I need to remind myself, hence the title “Notes To Echo.” You are welcome to read my words and join me on this journey of exploration. I invite dialogue in the comments section if you feel inclined to share your views. For now, I am basically just talking to myself, reminding myself of those things I know deep down to be true.

The following is directed at me, but I feel that by sharing I may offer someone a bit of hope when they feel stuck in a situation that causes pain.

Today, I focus on the human condition and the reality of what is sometimes a very big part of our waking existence. Pain.

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All of us hurt in some form or fashion. A lot of us have mastered the art of burying our pain. We create the illusion of “all is well” just to make it through the day, day after day. We greet each morning with a smile. A smile that covers the sadness, brokenness, loneliness we might be feeling. All along the way, we convince ourselves that all is right in our worlds. Yet, at night, when the lights are out and we find ourselves in bed, struggling to sleep, reality pops into our awareness and we see what we’ve been trying to hide from ourselves all day long. We may feel:

  • Alone, even when partnered.
  • Scared, even when it’s apparent we’re secure.
  • Broken, even though by all outward appearances we are completely whole.

We may feel any and everything all at once. It’s so important at these times to feel what we feel. To allow ourselves to experience what it truly means to be human.

Pain isn’t fun. Pain isn’t comfortable. Pain sucks. But, all that said, pain makes us stop and look at where we are.

It isn’t fun to be in pain. It isn’t a joy to hurt, bleed and cry. It is, however, a part of what makes us us. It focuses our attention on the present moment. And, if we are willing to allow it to, our pain can show us in most cases what we need to do to move forward.

This takes bravery and the ability to allow ourselves to feel the hurt.

Some of the greatest lessons in life are learned while we’re in pain. I know that for me, going through a divorce and moving to a new city two hours away from home caused huge, gaping wounds in my mental, spiritual and emotional bodies. It was never easy, waking up to an empty apartment, going to a new job where I didn’t know a soul, coming home to loneliness. But I did it. And if need be, I’d do it again for not only did it teach me to look deep within myself and make a connection with what is real.

It showed me that I can survive.

So, Echo, next time you are hit with a bout of the blues, or next time you fall ill, remember to look inward. Sit with the pain. Sit with the emotion. Let yourself feel what you feel. Remember that stillness offers you the chance to look at where you are. Stillness can open up a pathway you didn’t know existed.

Stillness and awareness are your best friends in these kinds of times.

Pain is a part of life. It is just as much a part of our human reality as is good health.

Always remember that reality can be messy. Let the messes you encounter remind you of the times when everything falls into place. Times when you feel truly happy and in control of your moods and your life.

Balance is key.

Photo credit: “Illuminated Man” – Duane Michals

Swimming In A Dark Place

2018 has been a year of extremes and intensities. I feel as though I have been swimming in a dark place, struggling to keep my head above water and feeling as though there was no use anymore. As if my whole life means nothing. As if everything I do is, in reality, worthless.

I’ve had to accept the fact that I’m not Wonder Woman. I’m just wholly, totally and terrifically human.

2018 started off with a bang and fizzled shortly after the New Year’s celebrations ended. I became ill in February and struggled with that illness through the month of April. May brought with it a swarm of activity that has left me exhausted to the point of tears.

But still, I swim.

The year hasn’t been too much of a bitch to me, though. I must give thanks to 2018 for the doors it has opened for me and for the new people, experiences and opportunities that have entered my life.

I must give thanks for being alive. And trust me, I do.

As we close in on the middle of the year, my focus now is on what I can do at this moment. No longer will I sit and worry about where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going. I can’t do this anymore. It is exhausting.

I will no longer allow myself to compare myself with the accomplishments and beauty of others.

I challenge myself instead to experience this moment. I challenge myself to explore what it means to be alive at this moment. And, I choose to make each moment I’m given count toward the hopes and dreams I hold in my heart.

If any of what you’ve just read resonates with you, please drop me a note to let me know. If not, thank you for reading my love letter to me. We all need to remember to love ourselves and give ourselves the attention and care we deserve.

Velvet, now at a new lower price!

My first published book, Velvet, is now available at a new lower price of $1.99 on Kindle. Check it out if you enjoy a light romantic story filled with interesting characters. KindleUnlimited customers, you can read it for free!

Four of Cups, Four of Disks

I had a dream last night, a strange dream, a dream where I traveled to an exotic, South American land and encountered an open-air bazaar.

There, in the back, stood a table covered in red cloth. On the table were four clay cups, and four small, clay disks. The seller of these wares sat with his head resting on his crossed arms. He appeared to be crying.

When I woke up this morning, the only thing I could remember were the cups and disks, and the sad young man who was trying to sell them.

These few items were all he had to offer.

I have no knowledge of the tarot, so I don’t know what the meaning – if any – could be. This dream has haunted me all day.

There must be a message in there, somewhere.

Photo credit: iStock

A new cold weather tradition

As I’ve gotten older, my body is getting used to the hot, humid days of summer in the South.

It hasn’t always been this way. (more…)

When dreams become book ideas…

A couple of years ago, after the death of Chris Squire (bassist for the prog rock band Yes), I had a crazy and psychedelic dream about him that has haunted me to this day.

A couple of days ago, strange as this seems, I sort of “felt” him all around me.

Keep in mind that I never met Squire in person. I only grew to know about Yes after I met Mr. LaVeaux in 2003.

My knowledge of the band is quite young.

Anyway, today while I was working it dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, it’s time to sit down and write a story based on that dream.

So, that’s what I’m going to do.

Stay tuned. If you like fantastical realism, I think you might like the book idea. This next project will be a short novella, and I hope to have it out by early 2018.

Keep dreaming, my friends…and while you’re dreaming, be sure write down any dreams that stand out upon your awakening.

They may prove to be fuel for your waking imagination.

Photo credit: gostica.com

On This the Eve of Halloween

This year, Mr. LaVeaux and I will be having a very low key Halloween. At sunset on Halloween, we’ll be cutting a pumpkin and making our first jack-o-lantern in many years, burning a candle and breathing prayers under the night sky, drinking beer and thinking about those who have gone on before us.

The changing season, oncoming cold weather, falling leaves…all of autumn makes me reflect upon the reality of death and our human mortality. And not in a negative, fearful way, either. Watching the Earth as she rolls toward slumber puts me in touch with what is real. It kind of makes the thought of death feel less scary. After all, it is just the final turn of the wheel of time, a wheel we were born to ride to the end.

Halloween, that season where the veil is thinnest, hearkens us to look within ourselves at the core of what makes us human. What makes us Earthlings. As from the Earth we sprung forth, and to the Earth we shall return.

And at the heart of this realization is a beauty so sublime, it can make a soul weep with joy.

Photo credit: wonderopolis.org

 

Hot Tea on a Cold Day

Sometimes there is nothing more refreshing than a piping hot cup of tea on a brisk, cold day.

Tea takes me to other places in my mind, places I’ve never been, places I dream about and conjure in the vast regions of my imagination.

What is it like to stand inside the Taj Mahal? Does it smell sweetly of spice?

What would it be like to walk along the River Thames in London, a mug of Earl Grey tea warming my hands?

I take a sip of my cinnamon tea on this first truly cold day of the autumn and breathe in this season of Halloween.

Mmmm.

Photo credit: baysidejournal.com

Thoughts that Ramble in my Mind

It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. Sometimes, there just aren’t too many things to be said. Sometimes, thoughts consume me that I cannot express.

This is where I have been. Silent, but with a mind busy trying to understand life.

You would think that as a 50-something who has lived through so much good and bad that I would be at a place where I am settled in my thoughts.

Not the case.

Sometimes I think that maybe I should try writing another novel. Maybe go back to writing poetry and doing my art.

Then I think, what is the point? What purpose would it serve?

Mr. LaVeaux and I had this conversation today over pizza. My wise and loving husband reminded me that even when everything seems pointless in life, our lives are meant to be lived and enjoyed. To not worry about what others think. To do what you want because you love doing it. To not worry that you’re wasting your time when you do what you love to do.

Having him is one of the greatest joys of my life. He keeps me grounded and guides me.

So as I sit here, spilling my thoughts on this blog and probably making no kind of sense as I do so, I think…what difference does it make?

We all need to create. We all need to express ourselves. We all need to do those things that make our hearts sing.

Now that I’ve written all of this down, I see the answer to the question nagging at my soul.

To borrow from occultist Aleister Crowley, I will quote him here: “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.” While I do not practice Thelema, I do find wisdom in this statement when interpreted in a different way.

In my mind, I see the Law as meaning to live as you wish as long as you’re not hurting yourself or any other living thing.

Thank you for reading these rambling thoughts. Now, time to go out and LIVE.

Photo credit: patrikrowinski.se