A spontaneous glimpse into the void

It happened so suddenly and so unexpectedly that it took me nearly six years to comprehend what happened.

All I was doing was lying down on the sofa, reading a book about Mozart, listening to music composed by Mozart, and BOOM, it happened.

I got a brief glimpse into the void.

The event was a split second but felt like a small eternity.  When I “came to” and found myself where I left myself, stretched out across the sofa with a book in my hand, I nearly wept.

How does one explain what one sees in a split second alone in the void?

I can tell you what I sensed, what I felt, and it was those things that took six years to accept and fully realize.

First of all, there is no such thing as sin.  Religions fade away in the ever-revealing light of the void.  Secondly, everything is interconnected.  We are truly one in the same being.  The void is swimming with creative energy.  What I saw was a sea of color, like a nebula exploding and swirling in the black deepness of space.  I sensed that this is where I will end up after death, my energy merging with the energy of the cosmos.  In an instant, my fear of death dissipated.

Every question I’d ever had was answered in a nanosecond.  I knew the reason for life.  The reason why we exist on this tiny little planet flying about in the furthest reaches of the Milky Way. What I didn’t expect was to forget all the answers to all of life’s Big Questions.  But I had a taste, and I know that everything I’d ever been taught about god isn’t true. I knew god existed, only it wasn’t the god we’d all grown up to believe.  It was the god of All-That-Is, and all that is is the  vast ocean of the cosmos.  Outer space.  Who knew?

Up until that moment, I didn’t.

In fact, I had just recently converted to Roman Catholicism after being raised a Southern Baptist.  In between my Christian journeys I’d tasted Wicca, Buddhism, Hinduism and even toyed with atheism.  All of them left me craving something I couldn’t find in any belief system.  It took me experiencing an unforeseen, unexpected glimpse of awakening to make me realize that religion no longer served me.

This was a difficult pill to swallow.  That is why it took me about six years for everything to come together in my mind and in my spirit.

Today I look back on that brief moment of clarity and realize what a tremendous gift I’d been given.  Unlike the wise ones who meditate daily, seeking a sliver of a glimpse, I’d been tossed head-long into the void.  Me, a middle-class American nobody.

That told me the truth about enlightenment.  It’s for everyone.

For years I ached to experience another glimpse.  To lose myself forever in the bliss of cosmic awakening.  But now I know that I am awake, even though LIFE pulls me back down to earth.  I find that my feet are cemented firmly on the ground while my spirit longs to break free.  Walking like this through my daily life is a struggle at times, but I let it go when it gets to be too much to bear.  I remind myself to breathe and let go.  The cosmos holds me.

More than just an earthling, I am a child of the universe.  Nothing can comfort me more than this.

 

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2 comments

  1. Wow, cool…thanks for posting your experience. I had a similar brush with the void that I wrote about a couple years ago: http://ilonasmeditationchallenge.com/2012/12/08/dreams/

    I feel like I can relate so much to your talk of no religion feeling right to you after having that experience, I have that as well. Also, I struggle with the day-to-day physical world and always hope to get back to the void soon, but I understand I am here for a reason….as tough as this dimension can seem at times.

    I look forward to reading more of your blog 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so very much for your comment, and for sharing your experience with me. That was very powerful and quite similar to my experience! I heard a sound when I was “out there,” more like a hum or a chant of some kind. It is really wonderful to connect with someone who has had a similar experience to mine. Sometimes it can feel quite lonely when you are coming to terms with something that is truly incomprehensible and difficult to describe. I enjoy your blog as well and am very happy we have connected here. Thanks again for commenting and sharing. I look forward to reading more of your blog, too. 🙂

      Like

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