Seems that most of this year I’ve been running on fumes.
My energy level can only go so far, and I can only do so much before I crash. Maybe it’s the ultra hot summer we’ve had so far down here in my neck ‘o the woods. Maybe it’s my age. I’m not sure, but one thing I’ve learned is that I just can’t push myself to do as much anymore.
This is a hard pill to swallow.
In my youth through early middle age, I was unstoppable. I could stay up late into the night working on various projects and still get up early in the morning.
Oh, to be able to do that again.
Aging makes me think that life is one, long, successive winding down of our energy centers. When we’re born, we are full of energy. Electricity flows through us as infants, toddlers, children…all the way through our teen and young adult years.
There is a point in our lives where the winding down begins to move a bit quicker, and the body begins to move a bit slower.
This doesn’t scare me. Ten years ago, having to face the inevitable would have terrorized me. Today, the thought of death seems as natural as breathing air.
It’s not that I think I’m about to die. I don’t. However, I do not fear death any longer and know that when I go, it’ll be as simple as falling asleep to this life and waking up somewhere in the Great Beyond.
For now I will continue to live in the present, knowing that what will be will be. For now, I will look at where I am and tend to my needs. I will honor myself. If I feel the need for a nap, I will nap. I will not allow myself to feel guilty for resting my weary bones.
There is nothing selfish about caring for the self. We should honor our body, mind, and spirit always. By doing this, we find ourselves able to fully honor others.
What a better world we’d have if everyone did the same.