I have been working on my art and writing for the past several weeks, inadvertently ignoring this little blog space of mine on the web. One would think, well, this isn’t smart of you. Don’t you want to be recognized? Don’t you want to be remembered?
What questions to ponder!
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am an introvert at heart. I am the one who’d rather be on the edge of a party than smack dab in the middle of it. At the risk of coming across as a labeler, I will state that I am an artist, photographer, writer, and creator of useful things. It is in the creation of these things that I find my Self…my inner peace.
My world revolves around color, spirituality, and movement. It does not revolve around the world of fitting in.
However, there is that part of me that wishes for a nod, a wink, some kind of acknowledgment of my successes as well as recognition and support of me in my failures.
And I have to wonder…is this really ME who is wanting, or rather needing, such validation? I know in my core that the only valid validation is the validation I feel and sense within.
Yet, still…there is a wanting. And I know it is the ego begging to be stroked.
So, today I take time to sit alone in peace and let my mind flow with the thoughts of the ego. I am learning, bit by bit, to recognize that all suffering comes from thinking, and that thinking…while beneficial at times…can create dramas and stories that are nothing but illusion.
Sort of like the stories I write. While they feel real and carry with them bits of my experiences, they are still just that…stories. Fiction.
We live with fictions every day, fictions of our own creation. Do we ever stop to realize that we are causing our own dramas just by the way in which we think?
I am not and have never claimed to be a self-styled philosopher. What I am is a person learning to make her way in the world at mid-life while shedding the constructs heaped upon me since birth.
So here I blog…and ramble.
Take a moment and reflect on the thoughts you entertain on a daily basis. If anything, you may come away from the experience with eyes open wide and a big, breathy “WHOA” on your lips.
Photo credit: http://www.itzikamiel.com