The wind kicked up with a vengeance. I tucked my chin and hurried across the cobblestones as the cold breeze buffeted me. I got in the car, cranked the engine and backed out of my space. Traffic was light on River Street so it didn’t take me long to get up to Bay and back to my townhouse. I opened the door and walked over the threshold.
Samson met me with a meow. He tackled my shins, rubbing against one and then the other before meowing again. It was his dinnertime. I put my bag on the hall table and followed him into the kitchen, gave him some food and water, then sat down at the table. I watched him eat and drink his fill.
Without warning, a dark cloud fell upon me and my heart began to hurt. I realized with a start that it was loneliness, the one thing I’d been fighting since I’d left Mark. It was nearly a year since I’d moved to Savannah, and this was the first time I ached with the need for another person to share my space.
Come on, I thought to myself. Get over it.
I gave myself a good shake and the mood began to lift.
Sam chomped his kibble. The noise drew my attention back to my cat.
If not for Samson, my home life would be quite lonely. I like to tell him he’s my sunshine. Blessed with the ability to sense my moods, he knows when I need a head butt or a cuddle.
Tonight, I felt a little out of sorts. Whether the feelings of loneliness came from my worry about Steven, concern about Dee, the content of Jane’s dream, or the mystery man she claimed to see, I wasn’t sure. All I knew at that moment was that I felt lonely as hell and I needed someone to hold.
I was right when I told Jane I didn’t want or need a man to make me happy. I was good at making my own happiness out of whatever pieces I had lying around my life.
The truth was that deep inside I needed someone to love. My god I hurt on the inside, wishing for something I knew I could never have. Mark had proven that to me. I’d been married once. I’d had all of one boyfriend my whole life, and he was it.
Without doubt, my marriage to Mark Williamson was the biggest mistake I’d ever made. I had no desire to drive down that dead end road again. Mark had been on my mind since my morning ride to work. It was rare for him to ever enter my thoughts. The only time I felt him this strong in the past was when he had tried to contact me.
There had been no letters, no phone calls. Nothing.
Not even dreams.
So why was he burning holes into my mind? I didn’t like this oppressive feeling and decided then and there that Mark had to be the source of my discomfort.
But still. Jane had me thinking.
Photo credit: savannahhistoricproperties.com