Most times I feel happy, joyful, elated…glad to be alive.
Other times I feel like…why am I here? What’s the point?
Today I’m in-between those extremes. Nothing bad has happened. No one has said anything hurtful. I have my health and all of my needs are met. Yet still, there is that in-between place where no word exists to express the emotion.
That said, is there an emotion to describe the state of in-betweenness?
Sitting here this evening, I found these thoughts filling my brain to the point that I had to stop what I was doing and focus on this state of being. Is it normal to be consumed by an emotion? We find ourselves confronted on a daily basis with images, words, sounds that are meant to make us happy, sad, angry.
Could it be that I am conditioned to respond and react? Could it be that when I find myself in a place of unexpected peace, I see it as somehow unnatural and unsettled?
I don’t have an answer. All I know is that this makes me uneasy. I feel as if I have to look over my shoulder…waiting for something to pop into my world and shake it up. Why oh why do I feel that this shaking of my world is normal? Why can’t I just relax in the in-between space?
I have no clue.
So, instead of dwelling on this, I choose to relax. Maybe I need to be in this place, this space between action and worry, between positive and negative, and just flow and grow like the tree in the image above.
Maybe that tree has it figured out. Maybe the in-between place is where we discover our nook in the world, our place and the right soil in which to not only grow, but also to thrive.
Photo credit: murraymitchell.com