Swimming In A Dark Place

2018 has been a year of extremes and intensities. I feel as though I have been swimming in a dark place, struggling to keep my head above water and feeling as though there was no use anymore. As if my whole life means nothing. As if everything I do is, in reality, worthless.

I’ve had to accept the fact that I’m not Wonder Woman. I’m just wholly, totally and terrifically human.

2018 started off with a bang and fizzled shortly after the New Year’s celebrations ended. I became ill in February and struggled with that illness through the month of April. May brought with it a swarm of activity that has left me exhausted to the point of tears.

But still, I swim.

The year hasn’t been too much of a bitch to me, though. I must give thanks to 2018 for the doors it has opened for me and for the new people, experiences and opportunities that have entered my life.

I must give thanks for being alive. And trust me, I do.

As we close in on the middle of the year, my focus now is on what I can do at this moment. No longer will I sit and worry about where I am, what I’m doing, where I’m going. I can’t do this anymore. It is exhausting.

I will no longer allow myself to compare myself with the accomplishments and beauty of others.

I challenge myself instead to experience this moment. I challenge myself to explore what it means to be alive at this moment. And, I choose to make each moment I’m given count toward the hopes and dreams I hold in my heart.

If any of what you’ve just read resonates with you, please drop me a note to let me know. If not, thank you for reading my love letter to me. We all need to remember to love ourselves and give ourselves the attention and care we deserve.

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